awww..
after waiting for his reply
finally he replied me !
after 2weeks you know ?
haha
just now was raining, he said that he had nothing to do..
I asked him how was the maths paper ?
he said very difficult then he asked about me?
then i said u r clever than me but u cant do it then how about me ?
the answer is so obvious.
aftr that he start to tell me a story
he said that he never reads the instructions, we are supposed to answer 2 questions out of 3,
but he did all the questions&when he wanted to finish the last question ,
the times up
hahahhahaha ..
too bad right ?
then after like 15 or 20 mins I sms-ing with him,
suddenly he said that he must go for tuition bcos the tuitor come alrdy !

ooohhell !
why the teacher came on the wrong time when im having my time him ?
shittt ~
@first i was like no hope on him alrdy, like want to give up bcos he never talked or replied my message but he did reply now !
Im really feeling like in the heaven when he replied it !! [:
&he promised will text me when he finish tuition !
"My Love for him becoming so big&big ! ILoveYou boy more than anywords could express it !"

*happyhappyhappyhappyhappy

hey my diary sorry nvr write for a long2 time :D
im kinda busyy bcos of the exams !

on last sunday 09 may 2010

my parents called me @9 pm,
its the 1st time my daddy called my used my mom's phone. He support me on my exams& said I must sleep early&drink alots of water.
if I feel like sleepy just sleep, just revise everything in the morning..
(aaww, he is so damn freaking understanding to me.. IalwayssLOve u dad.no matter how fierce u are but i know u do it for my own good ^^)

Then my mom talked with me.. she said
"You must jiayou ! do ur best ! dont foget to pray everynight ! Jesus always do what is right for tou if you really believe in Him!"(she is so damn religious)
Then she said : "Mei on the day u come back home ask daddy to fetch u @ the airport ok?&take the money frm him for ur bday party, mommy want to go china,im so sorry honey this year I cant celebrate ur bday with you.But still mommy loves you ! Wish u all the best for the exams okay?"

I only can said "yess" to my mom. but do you know how much i want her to be beside me when my bday ?
i never see her in the past 3months some more ! I dont want the money !
i want herr ! but i looking at the positive side, there is still my daddy,my cousins,friends&my bestfriends.
but there will no MOM&MY BROTHER ! so sad right ?

damndamndamndamn !

=="

hey hey my dear diary,, :)
Today is really nothing special. whenever I want to see him,he never show but..
when I dont want to see him, he'll alwayss right in front my eyes !
Its really irritating, Now im not really hope too much frm him, bcos now we're lose contact alrdy..

Its begin from : Last Monday 26/04/2010

It was the english paper exam aftr it finished we allowed to go home, but unfortunately it was raining when we were going out frm the gate.
Then I saw him in frnt of the general office, I guessed he was waiting for the raining to stop.
then I dont know wht to say&what to do on that time, so I just opened up my umbrella in frnt of him,and not asked him whether he wants it or not but I just used it with my friend..
& left him alone there, I also never say "HI" or wht to him.
&I knw its my fault,aftr tht I felt guilty & messaged him. I said "How's ur paper ? difficult ? anyway sorry never asked you for the umbrella.

&& he never reply me since that day until NOW ! usually he always replied me immidiately, though he just give me 1 or 2 sentences, but @ least he did reply ..
I miss that time, now he really change..
Never reply my message&act like he doesnt want to know me anymore.
I feel like he keep the distance away frm me everyday..

I'm reallysadsadsadsad :(
Why he changed? is it bcos he knows alrdy that ILIKEHIM or wht ?
but why he must do this ? why cant just tell me or @ least reply my messages ?
DOYOUKNOWHOWMUCHITHURTSME ? but whatever itis ISTILLDOLOVEYOU !

So,dont worry boy! My heart still belongs to you forever !!
(:

Hot weather ---> Bad mood

Today is really damn irritating I got stayback and yet my mom scloded me bcos i didnt pick up her phone
I didnt pick up bcos i still @ the class room&cant pick it up. &after that she told me to take money from my guardian,but I have tuition& im so damn fucking tired. If the money for me , I'll definately take it, but the money is for my bro then why cant she ask my bro to take it by himself ? She is so damn unfair ! though im younger than him , thats not mean that im his helper right ? *fvck !
I really hate todayyyy a lottsss ! *My leg painn some more ! :(

whywhywhy ?

Well,
@first i was trying to forget him.
& I can did it ! :D
I have a crushed on him about only about 10 months,
last time I was stay in the same dorm as him, it was a good&bad time for me.
The good things bcos i could see him every step he makes&everything he did
but...
The bad thing is that thought i was in the same house as him,
I couldnt have spent a bit time to talk to him.
All I could do is just say " HI !"

Every night I tried to find a reason,
why I can have a crushed with a person that I can never ever be able to talk with ?
Isn't it funny ?
Then after having an idiot time to get rid of him,showing him how much I want him&wasting my precious tears only for him,
Finally I can be able to get over him !
&I moved house,try to forget all things about him. erase his number.
&never think anything about him @all.
I can did it ! its successful, but why when I saw his photo with other girls I always get jeaolus ? Does it means that I still cant forget him ?
But I dont have any feeling for him ANYMORE & I NEVERHAVEANYFEELING to see him not even once !

whywhywhy?
Now I saw his photo again with all the housemates I used to hang out with,
His face havent change s bit, its more handsome day by day !
Well,I just checked the photos one more time&I saw him taking pictures with my enemy.
Can u imagine that ? good,my heart breaking now.and my tears coming but I hold it.
why must I cry for him?
He's not worthy !
Bullshit !

Fine, from now on Im gonna really make him OUTOFMYLIFE !
not a tiny piece of him can stay on me!

God pls help me&give me more strength to do it :D

What I've been thinking about from the 1st time until now ?
its been 4months im wondering if he wants me or not,
but i never get the clues.
&only left 3months to his birthday..
Should I give him the STARS,
or just keep those lovely STARS for myself without to let him knows .
anything about my TRUEFEELINGTOHIM !